I discovered that my second 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥, Ivy, has unusual extremities at 19 weeks of age. The midwife informed her that the scan disclosed important findings. She began weeping immediately, and her stomach immediately sank. I just have this awful, awful feeling that something is awry. Finally seated, she informed her midwife about the sonogram. The midwife delivered the dreadful news: “First, there is a possibility that the infant will be 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧 with a cleft lip. In addition, when she lost both her hand and forearm, her heart suffered tremendously, and one side of her femur was twisted and shorter than the other.

This feels like a gut-punch. It made me lose air. Images of my ideal 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 were shattered, and it caused me to fall over and start crying. No arms, then? I am not familiar with this. I’m not aware of it. Never did I have a passing thought of fear or concern. I simply thought that she had all the necessary limbs and parts. She sobs and feels terrible for her worries and her sense of helplessness. But she overstepped her bounds and wept.

Her dad added, “Our family will be blessed by her. Our family needs someone like her, in my opinion. She has a lot to share with us.” She spent the evening looking up videos of other 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren with amputations, researching prosthesis for infants and young 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren, and she sensed a glimmer of hope. She was told by the doctor that it was over. We had given up on having 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren and believed that a 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦’s life could not be lived. When the doctor proposed ending it, I was astounded.

She’s never decided to have an abortion. She doesn’t want to put her pregnancy at more risk because she wants to keep the kid. She believed that, out of all the mothers in the world, the universe had picked me to be Ivy’s mother. I even believe she picked me. She acknowledged when she saw me. I desire her. She should be my mother, I say. The universe anticipates my love for her. that I would defend her and be everything she needed in a mother. I feel as though my entire life has been leading up to and preparing me for this to be Ivy’s mother.

Ivy surprised us all by arriving four weeks early. She can’t wait to join the world. Or maybe she knew that I needed her here, needed reassurance that she would be okay in the end, safe in my arms. The moment I gave 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 to her and held her in my arms, I felt so peaceful. And when she opened her eyes and looked at me for the first time, I knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be.